Cristian Bârsan

Focus on understanding, not criticizing others perspective.
Since this apparently “simple” objective was so difficult for me to put into practice, I set a way of approaching it. Here’s how I do it:

1. Chill out before reacting: Instead of jumping to “that’s wrong” when someone has a different view, I take a breath. Give myself a moment to calm down and avoid knee-jerk reactions.
2. See through their eyes: Imagine I’m looking at the situation through their glasses. What might be important to them? Why might they see things that way?
3. Ask questions, don’t attack: Instead of criticizing, ask curious questions. “Hey, can you tell me more about why you think that?” This shows I’m interested in understanding, not winning an argument.
4. Listen up! Really listen to what they’re saying, not just waiting for my turn to talk. Pay attention to their words and feelings.
5. Look for common ground: Even with differences, there might be some things we both agree on. Finding that common ground can help me build bridges.
6. Respect the differences: I don’t have to agree with everything someone says, but I can respect their right to have a different opinion.

I always try to remember, this is like a muscle. The more I practice these skills, the easier it gets to understand others and be less judgmental. It can even lead to some pretty awesome friendships where we learn from each other!